Jon Stewart’s oddly arousing takedown of CNBC
“If only I’d followed CNBC’s advice, thumb I’d have a million dollars — provided I’d started with a hundred million dollars,” said Jon Stewart, capping off an eight-minute evisceration of the self-anointed financial wizards at the cable news business channel.
I feel like I need a cigarette after watching his breathtaking “Daily Show” smackdown of the corporatist assholes at CNBC. Somehow the crack reporters at the “only business network that has the information and experience that we need” missed the biggest financial story of the year (the collapse of the global economy) even though it’s their fucking job to anticipate this kind of crisis.
But I guess it was impossible for them to warn us about the oncoming disaster when their mouths were stuffed with so much CEO scrotum. Keep in mind I refer to them as crack reporters because they spend so much time with their noses wedged up the butt cracks of the derivatives traders and Ponzi scheme managers who’ve pocketed millions of dollars in bonuses and stolen capital by turning Wall Street into a multi-billion dollar sink hole.
Faux populist — and alleged astroturfer — Rick Santelli was slated to appear on “The Daily Show,” but he chickened out at the last minute at the behest of his CNBC bosses. Guess he missed the lesson David Letterman taught John McCain last fall. Never ever piss off a comedian. They will cut you.
This video needs to go viral. Watch it, and share it with your friends…
UPDATE: The entire NBC family circled the wagons and mounted a pathetic response to Stewart’s takedown. So far the results have been reminiscent of The Bride’s little tussle with The Crazy 88. Little Jimmy Creamer should feel grateful that he can leave this fight with his life. But the limbs he lost in this battle, he should leave behind. They belong to Jon Stewart now. More “Daily Show” carnage below…