LEAVE BRISTOL ALONE!!!
By Richard Armagnac • Sep 4th, 2008 • Comment • Category: Sexual Politics
It looks like the entire Republican Party is rallying behind Bristol Palin, the “Juno from Juneau,” and her 18-year-old baby daddy and future husband Levi Johnston.
It’s the plaintive wail of the GOP. “LEAVE BRISTOL ALONE! This is a private family matter. Bastards!” Funny coming from the crowd whose party platform is focused mainly on legislating certain kinds of private behavior out of existence.
If the 17-year-old mother-to-be was anyone else she’d be shit out of luck. That’s for damn sure. Her own mother Gov. Sarah Palin — the Republican vice-presidential nominee and former mayor of Methtown, AK — used a line item veto to slash funding for a program that aided homeless teen mothers. The Repugs like to hold their sympathy in reserve, doling out meager helpings for the party faithful — but nobody else.
Gov. Palin is also a big supporter of faith-based abstinence-only sex education even though studies have shown abstinence-only programs do not work. Just ask Jamie Lynn Spears.
Of course, this unplanned teen pregnancy is great news for the McCain-Palin ticket, because serial adulterer John McCain is not too popular with the social conservative whackos that run the GOP. Young Bristol’s politically expedient shotgun wedding is sure to impress the family values crowd. And it might even impress some gun nuts too.
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